An indispensible guide to life, the universe and childish smut, from the creators of the highly rated BBC comedy show Mock the Week is back, with an hilarious collection of brand-new gags for anyone who has at any time been born. Taken together, these one-liners will help you navigate the ups and downs of life whether you're eight* or eighty†. Categories include: Bad Things to Hear in a Maternity Ward: 'In an attempt to empathise with my wife, I want you to ram this pineapple up my backside.' Unlikely Greetings Cards: Sorry to hear about your mother. (On the plus side, you can afford that new house, now.) Bad Things to Shout During Sex: 'Did you hear that? Did they just say England are 81 for 5?' Unlikely Things to Read on a Gravestone: Fell asleep on 16 August 2004. Unfortunately whilst driving a truck on the M5. Unlikely School Report Cards: Dear Mr and Mrs Johnson, Boris is a very popular and intelligent boy who should go far, just as long as he isn't ever put in charge of anything complex. *Probably best not to give this book to an eight-year-old. †Or to an eighty-year-old.