Meet Will and Florence. He’s freshly divorced and in denial. She’s twice-burnt and prickly. They’re a terrible idea. They know this. But every time their eyes meet, their clothes come off. Experience their unique, hilarious, and heart-wrenching love story in the four episodes of Text Me, Cupid: a (slightly dirty) love story for 21st century adults. In Episode 4: Saving Christmas, Will wants commitment. Florence wants... freedom. Is anybody going to get what they want for Christmas? (Spoiler alert: it’s a romance, baby! Everybody gets a happy ending.) iwillornot: Hey there, Songbird. What’s cooking? notanightingale: Why are you messaging me on OKC? iwillornot: Why is your OKC profile still up? notanightingale: Why is yours and why are you on it? iwillornot: Jealous? notanightingale: Are you? iwillornot: Livid. I’m not having sex with you for six weeks as punishment. FYI. … iwillornot: But seriously, why is your OKC profile still up? notanightingale: But seriously, why is someone whose OKC profile still up asking me this question? iwillornot: I went on the app to disable it, actually. So I’m not one of those assholes not responding to messages from gorgeous but desperate women. Because I’m in a relationship. With a gorgeous-not-desperate woman I adore. iwillornot: And then I thought if you hadn’t de-activated yours, I’d send you a message through it… because—do you know what today is? notanightingale: Oh, Will. I do—now. But I forgot. Our first text-anniversary. That’s so sweet. iwillornot: It was supposed to be sweet. And now we’re fighting over why we’re leaving our options open. notanightingale: Is that what we’re doing? iwillornot: Yes. notanightingale: Don’t worry. We’ll have sex and make up. iwillornot: I told you, no sex for six weeks. notanightingale: You won’t make it. iwillornot: Watch me. Will of Iron, that’s what they call me. notanightingale: Will of Iron, does that mean I should bring a puzzle or a board game or something to amuse myself Wednesday night? iwillornot: I was thinking, I’m gonna tie you up, and watch terrible porn, and jack off while you lay there, not having sex. notanightingale: You are the most romantic man in the whole entire world. iwillornot: I try. notanightingale: See you Wednesday. Don’t forget to pick up some rope after work. iwillornot: Aren’t you going to provide that? notanightingale: I’m bringing the board game. As Plan B. In case you don’t know how to tie knots. iwillornot: Oh, baby. You should see the things I can do with knots. … iwillornot: But seriously, Florence, are you going to disable your profile?