Mab is an unemployed feminist blogger with a philosophy degree, a deathly allergy to bee stings, and the real-world experience of a domestic rabbit. When Portland, Oregon is evacuated, no one thinks to look for her in her unlabeled apartment. She can still get news from the outside world for days. All the news is bad. The planetary Tarantella dance has started, and the world is shaking itself apart. Volcanoes and earthquakes abound. Taking stock of her supplies, she finds that her best survival gear includes a 49cc moped and clothing that wouldn't keep a chihuahua warm in a Florida winter. Left alone in the city, Mab fumbles along and documents her post-apocalypse adventures through the lens of mankind's greatest coping mechanism: Inappropriate humor. She learns from experience as she misinterprets survival tips, battles wild geese, steals cars, befriends a dog, and discovers the difference between instinct and cultural training. When Mab learns of a geologically stable place in Canada, she leaves Portland behind. Vet, the world's dumbest remaining dog, goes with her, and while they try to navigate the wilderness, mountains become volcanoes. Strangers become bandits. Mab wasn't prepared for this, but she writes the book on how to improvise in case of apocalypse.