Every spell Kalli casts explodes in her face. Going to bed disgusted, she awakes to find a gorgeous, naked man in her bed. Ensnared, the witch discovers that her naked burglar is a god named Lugh. Kalliope yearns to be touched by him, but before that can happen, another prowler enters into her life. Cromm, a death god, comes to collect on a promise made before she was born. While trying to escape him, she finds herself spirited away into a realm of gods and goblins. There Lugh’s ex-lover captures Kalli, keeping her prisoner in an oak tree. While imprisoned, Kalliope meets a goddess who gives her three magickal apples. From the first bite, her world changes forever. The witch is now the newest magickal being on the block. Who will win Kalliope? Only time will tell, and she doesn’t have much of that left, oh my!

One naked god, a breast-obsessed frog, and three snake haired goddesses trying to take over the world! What's a witch to do? Strange things have been happening to Kalliope of late. Every time she sneezes she is overcome with wanton flashes of lust. Her entire being craves to be taken by anything male. To aid her in her “sickness” her always-naked god lover, Lugh, indulges her. Right as he is in the middle of worshipping her, Kalliope’s debt to Lugh’s grandfather is called in to be repaid. Taking some cold medicine to ward off the lust fevers, she goes before Dagda only to discover he leant her out to Mt. Olympus. Not happy with being loaned out, Kalliope heads off with her newly conjured breast obsessed bullfrog familiar. Zeus charges her with saving the world from The Furies, three serpent headed cowgirls who want to enslave humanity by making them eat bean curd and kidnapping all the CEO’s of every fast food restaurant in the world. As her journey continues, she meets Apollo. By this time, her cold medicine is wearing off and Apollo is looking like a piece of prime Greek god hunk. Will Kalliope be able to control her lust? Will Lugh find out about her indiscretions with his long time friend and fellow sun god? Will Kalliope get a chance to save the world or will death keep her from it?

Kalliope just wants to get married. However, the gods always have to interfere. Just when she’s picking out her wedding dress, Anubis, the Egyptian God of the Dead, falls at her feet begging for help. Not able to refuse him, she finds herself up to her ears in sand. Tied to Anubis, she has to find time to plan a wedding, deal with rampaging mummies, and a jealous lover who’ll stop at nothing to upset the wedding. The only thing that keeps her going is her love for Lugh. He’s the other half of her soul and not even he can help her out of her sandy situation. With her trusty frog at her side and a three-foot spider, she braves ancient tombs and Egyptian curses to make it to the altar on time. Will the wedding be crashed? Will she save Anubis? Or will she find she’s wrapped up in a web of deceit with no one to trust?